I had a very unwelcome visitor this past weekend. Anxiety, again. Last Fall I had a major problem with anxiety attacks. It happened after a minor female surgery and lasted about three months. I was miserable, but God is good and brought me through. I have not had any anxiety since the middle of December, until last Friday.
Matt and I took the kids out on a shopping expedition that included lunch. During lunch, I began to get the creepy, crawly, hot feeling with the idea that I had to get out of there. So I left the restaurant and walked around calling and talking to my dad and my sister-in-law. This calmed me down and I was able to continue with our trip without much incident.
Saturday, I started out a little shaky, but was able to continue with all my plans for a busy day with no problems. Today, Sunday, I just had the anxious feelings come and go, until I was able to get out and exercise in the bright sunshine and be with a good friend.
I am learning a lot through these “attacks”. I am learning that God will never leave me nor forsake me. I can call upon Him at any time and He is there. Reciting Psalms is a great way to keep my mind on good things, not evil.
But I think the biggest thing I have learned hit me while at Wal-Mart tonight. Everybody has something they are dealing with. It may be visible, such as a physical disability or it may not be visible, such as my anxiety. I am learning to be more understanding of someone who may appear rude. I may see a rude person, but it could be that they are just trying to deal with the chaos of the store without losing their cool. I realized that the best thing I can do is be kind, and if possible share the hope that I have in Christ Jesus.
If I had my way, I would never have to go through another anxiety attack. I am not sure if that is God’s will for my life or not. But I am thankful for the opportunity to learn more about the grace of God and his care for me.