It is very hard to watch your adult child go through tough times and you can not do anything about the problem. Matthew is now 20. He is a Detention Officer and a volunteer Firefighter/EMT. The other day he had an EMT call that is one of the hardest to deal with emotionally. The patient died. Watching Matthew go through the process of second guessing himself, anger, and just processing the traumatic scene has been hard.
I am thankful that I see this reaction. That his compassion for others is strong. I wish I could help him, take the pain away, make the situation better. But, I can’t. I can only sit and let him talk when he needs to let something out. I can fix him a sandwich to eat before leaving for work. I can give him a hug and tell him I am proud of him. I can tell him to go out for a run to help relieve the stress. I can pray with and for him. In the end, he has to come to terms with situations like this on his own.
I have no doubt he will come to see the situation in a different light as time passes. He has and will continue to learn from this experience. It will make him a stronger person, a better EMT. As hard as it is, as much as I want to make it go away, this is not something Mom can fix.